Le Freak

So remember how Casey and I moved into an apartment? Since moving in, we've gotten some mail for the couple who lived here before us. Usually, it's been bank statements, stuff from Capital One, nothing too thrilling.

But today, we struck gold.

I thought the couple who lived here before us were normal people. We met them when we came over to look at the place and they seemed nice, a little goober-ish, but nice.

FALSE.

I'm not exactly sure how to preface this so I've decided to let the pictures speak for themselves accompanied by some commentary from yours truly.
Note: this is real, I took these pictures myself and nothing has been photo-shopped-the only thing I did was crop the pictures and brightened them so you can see them better. I'm sorry there's so many, but I feel like these needs to be shared.


This is the cover. I'm not sure how to pronounce this, but this is 'The Budk Catalogue'. If you think the cover is good, just you wait, Henry Higgins.


Dragon Ashtray, quite the elegant touch for any living room. in Hell.


This was my first indicator that this magazine was... different. and by different, I mean meant for white supremacists or guys who live in their parents' basements.


I feel soooo much better knowing that these were actually tested in Mekong, like who would buy ass-kicker boots without that assurance? Clearly anyone who buys non-tested in Mekong boots is an idiot.


Am I the only one who sees a phallus-like quality to these?


What the rainbow blade? This was actually the first thing I saw when I opened the magazine and I just laughed. Bless the rainbow blade and all its glory!


This is clearly not Johnny Depp. How insulting.


Needless to say, there are several things upsetting about this item: 1) it's balls. 2) it's a repeat sell-out item, which means people actually buy this. and 3) there's a 2 for $10 offer- WHO NEEDS 2 OF THESE?


Cute cat key chain + something to gouge out people's eyes= every Cat Lady's dream. Priceless.


A Confederate bedspread, a Wolf bedspread, a Wildlife bedspread, and a Tiger bedspread. 80s/90s t-shirt revival.


My favourite part about these little babies is the add: "Stainless steel device locks thumbs so close together that a person will feel foolish at how helpless they are!". I don't know how to say this, but I'm fairly certain that if my thumbs were 'locked together', I think I could still use my other 8 fingers.


at least it's the Union hat that's shown bigger, right?


So much for the Union... (ps- these were next to each other)


"Cool" is a relative term. If I'm in the World of Warcraft office, yes, this is cool. If I'm anywhere else, not so much...


Would these not be the most awesome New Year's Eve drinks? Like seriously, every Orcs dream.


This was my favourite sequence of products. Here, we have a creepy leather scripture case with creep cross on the zipper...


... Which was right next to the Anti-Cross (Would Jesus really have a dagger? No.)...


... Which was right next to these guys. The perfect Religious White Supremacist Sunday accessories.


and last, but certainly not least, the crystal wolf. It's just so elegant and graceful, I can't help myself.


and that was the Adventures in the Budk Catalogue.



I have so many questions for the people who lived here before us.