Put Me Down

I had an experience today that made me wonder if I'm living my life the way I want to. It starts with a confession: we went to J-Dawgs. for the 3rd time this week. It's clear we have an addiction (J-Dawgs also as Dr. Pepper- it's like I get my 2 fixes every time I go. no good). But that's not what this is about.

So we're in J-Dawgs, we order and walk down the line like standard protocol and behind us was a family of 7. For those of you unfamiliar with J-Dawgs (I'm sad for you), you have to wait a little while for the hot dogs to cook and sometimes, they call things in the order of the hot dog type being cooked (beef or polish) and not the order you are in line. Casey got his dog first (polish) and usually mine would be next, but they did all the polish dogs next, which belonged to the family behind us.
So they go through about 4 polish dogs and a beef dog comes up, which is mine. However, the lady behind me (who was now next to me), turned and very sharply said, 'My order isn't finished. That isn't yours. I will finish my order'. I was very surprised by her mean response and told the poor guy at the counter that I'd wait until their order was finished at my seat (he looked so uncomfortable because he knew that was my hot dog too, but was just as intimidated of this woman as I was).

For whatever reason, this lady's actions really pissed me off. like seriously. I went over to Casey and fumed about her for a good 10 minutes. I hate being pushed around by people who think they are better, bigger and louder than me and this lady had all three going for her. She knew I wouldn't say anything because I'm a small girl who wouldn't say anything. This isn't the first time this has happened in my life and I think it comes with the territory of my personality- I don't like confrontation and it's easier just to let people be jerks than to start something and get it done my way. I really wanted to go up to the lady while she was seated and tell her that I know that blasted hot dog was mine and that she was wrong to push me around, but I didn't.

And that's why I'm writing. Should I have approached that lady and told her she was wrong? or was it better to leave it as it was? Like I said, I hate being pushed around and I hate it when people don't respect me because they think they're better than I am and undeserving of their respect. But then I wonder if telling this lady that she was completely rude and a beezy would do anything because she wouldn't listen to me anyways and I would just be stooping to her level (and then another part of me laughs because this is all about a hot dog... but it is a J-Dawg, which is clearly superior to the average hot dog).
Obviously there are times in life when you need to be assertive and need to tell people what's up, but where's the line between letting people be push-overs and keeping your self-respect? It just made me wonder if I should be more assertive instead of passive and fuming about it later in private. I mean, anyone who knows me knows I'm a very expressive person, but when push comes to shove, I frequently back down, don't say what I'm really thinking and let the other person throw the stones. It's like I don't know how to find a balance. With J-Dawg Beezy, maybe I should have approached her later and just told her firmly that she was wrong and rude to me, and left it at that. But who knows what kinds of problems that could have caused.
I don't know- the point is I don't want to be trampled anymore, but I don't want to trample. I just need to find the balance.

in happier news, we went over to Ben and Alex's tonight and had lots of fun eating pizza, playing 'Battle of the Sexes', which I swear was rigged, and watching Youtube videos. I also spent a good portion of it coveting their dog, Mocha, and laughing with good friends. We had an excellent time and I'm excited for the next time we all get to hang out.

Our fish, Jaws, hasn't eaten in 2 days and I can't tell if he doesn't like his food (I can't say I blame him...) or if he's just adapting to a new environment. It's freaking me out either way and I wish he would stop it. Why can't he eat like the fish on my blog, dangit.

My best friend, Mary, is engaged and I'm so happy for her!!!! I get to go home for the wedding in July and it's going to be a blast. and hopefully they'll come live by us in the fall.

Still no job, which is kind of stressing me out, but I've just got to put my head down and power through. and pray a ton and apply for everything I can.

Happy Sabbath to you all :)