Tuning

I have a Theme Song.


It has been played approximately 473 times since I bought it about a year ago (this is not including times I've it the back button before it could count it as playing all the way through).

I listen to it when I run. I listen to it when I sleep. I listen to it while writing papers. I listen to it when I'm happy. I listen to it when I'm sad. I listen to it when cleaning. I listen to it when I need to dance. I listen to it when I'm walking home. I'm listening to it right now.

I listen to it all.the.time.

Somehow this song always makes me feel better. and even weirder is that it frequently has the message I need to hear when I need to hear it. This may be giving too much credit to the singer/writer and I'll admit to that. but I'm okay with it. because it makes me feel better every time.

For example: yesterday I got a message from someone who used to be my best friend, but things have drifted apart since last semester and now we don't talk. I had been thinking about this person, how I missed their friendship and then, they messaged me. I was excited. I responded and then their response was somewhat personal, but switched quickly to Church business.
it was like one of those times when you need to ask someone about something you don't really want to directly ask them about so you pad an email, letter or phone call with other things that are innocent before you strike with the real reason you're talking to them in the first place.

and it hurt. a lot.

I've been having a hard time with this relationship fizzling anyways. and then I get this message, which I take as a sign that things are okay between us. FALSE. they just wanted to talk Church business.
It was like the cream cheese frosting on the chocolate cake (I have an aversion to cream cheese frosting when it's not on red velvet or carrot cake. seriously, no good).
and I was really upset.

but then. I listened to my Theme Song.

and I caught this lyric: the truth is hard to swallow.

and it is.

the truth: this person probably doesn't want to see me or talk to me much because I hurt them a lot. they've moved on. and I get that. I understand.

so now, I come to grips, rub some dirt on it, and move on. the future is yet to be seen, but for now, we just move on.



Thanks Theme Song, you've done it again :)



ps- I want this.