Something

I'm not one to feel spiritual promptings all the time. I mean, I know the Church is true and I love the gospel, but I have very few spiritual experiences where I've been prompted to do something, you know? Call me unrighteous, call me whatever you want (just don't call me late for dinner!... i'll show myself out..), but that's just not how my spirituality rolls most of the time.

So today, I was driving home from my best friend Cait's bridal shower and I was straight-up on EMPTY. This happens a lot because I suck at filling up my tank (ask Casey. it drives him insane). So given said state of gas, I decided to get off an exit earlier than usual so I could stop at the Maverick to fill up. 

I'm driving like I do and I passed this woman who was walking near the freeway overpass. She was hugely pregnant and ps guys- it was hotter than hell outside today. And I felt this tingly feeling in my chest and I knew I had to pull over.

Here's the thing about spiritual promptings: Usually when I get them, it's frequently in a situation where I think, "WHAAAAAAT??? I DON'T WANNNAAAA". Rational Brain was like, "Kristin. Think about this. You don't know this woman. She's probably an escaped convict from Chateau d'If. This is an unsafe situation. Repeat, UNSAFE." But Spiritual Brain was like, "Just do it. You need to do it and it's the right thing."

Today, I listened to Spiritual Brain and I pulled over. I had barely rolled down my window when the woman said, "Oh my goodness! I was hoping someone would help me!". She climbed into my car, we stopped to fill up my gas tank, and I drove her to the nearest Frontrunner station. Turns out, her name was Brandy, she lived in Salt Lake and was down in my town visiting a friend. She was totally lost and had no idea how to get back to SLC. She was also 8 months pregnant and in extreme discomfort because she had been walking for the better part of an hour.

Imma be real with you: I was scared and often in situations like these, I listen to Rational Brain because Rational Brain is way louder and bossier than Spiritual Brain, even though I know Spiritual Brain is right.

I was really grateful I listened today. This woman really needed help. She told me she has social anxiety (which I totally relate to) and that she wasn't sure how she was going to make it home. If I hadn't stopped, I'm sure someone else would have, but I was really glad it was me. I felt really good afterwards. and that was nice :)

Underwater

Sometimes, friends, I have the tendency to get anxious. I get this feeling that feels like little fuzz balls are running sprints in my chest and they all really want to win first place so they keep sprinting and sprinting, but nobody ever wins the race.

Along with The Fuzz Ball 500, I also get horrible heartburn, The Super Jitters (I cannot sit still to save my life.), the urge to yell spontaneously (not actual words, more just like loud noises... which is awkward), and I tend to go into Hyper-Kristin Mode, meaning I talk faster, laugh louder, and the regular aspects of my personality act like they are on steroids. I'm also prone to mini-breakdowns, in which the smallest things can really upset me to the point of not being able to communicate. There's also lots of tears involved and it is always ugly crying.

Things that trigger my anxious moments include, but are not limited to: new jobs, new environments, meeting new people, things that scare me, certain people, certain places, phone calls, driving (not all the time, just some of the time), surprises, and when I don't know where I am or where I'm going (not in the philosophical sense, but in the literal sense, aka I AM LOST.).

This past weekend, I attended the reception of a dear friend of mine (so much happiness and love) and I was in a situation where my anxious feelings shot through my body at record proportions, so much so that I had to run to the bathroom to throw up because I was just that anxious. Obviously, this wasn't fun. Ain't nobody who likes to throw up, especially when you're at a wedding reception. No bueno.

The rest of the night passes relatively uneventful and things went so much better than I expected. Today, I had a similar experience where the second I arrived, my heartburn kicked in, the Fuzz Balls started running, and an overall sense of, "I WANT TO DIE NOW. RIGHT THIS MINUTE." kicked in full-swing. Thankfully, I kept everything in this time, but the anxiousness never quite left me until about 4 hours after leaving said event (it's kinda back right now while I'm writing about this... imma pretend it's not because I'm at work and I don't want to be known as THAT coworker).

While driving to meet up for our friend's baby's 1-year birthday party (which I didn't know was a thing people did... is that a thing? I might be ignorant...), I thought about this whole experience from last night to today and even though I don't have answers, I've determined 2 things from this that I want to share with you lovely people:

(1) Soda does not make things better. As much as I want Dr. Pepper to save me in my time of need, it realllllllyyyyy makes the heartburn BURN THROUGH MY SOUL.

(2) There are people in this world who really care about me and love me exactly for who I am. These people mean the world to me. I've been so incredibly blessed to have people who genuinely care about my well-being, who want to know what's new in my life, and who love me. After these experiences, I felt so angry with myself, that I let something get to me in such a way, and I felt sad and hurt about everything. But then I thought about it and I realized that a) pity parties are for stupid faces; and b) I was going to an event (said baby birthday party) where the people there love me, want to spend time with me, and would bend over backwards to help me. I'm lucky to have these kinds of friends in my life, I'm lucky to have their love and support, and I'm lucky to know that no matter what happens, these people will always love me.

When I start thinking about these wonderful people, my anxious Fuzz Balls start to run slower, the heartburn slowly goes away, and Normal Kristin comes back.

It's nice to be loved :)




as always, I have so much ish to write about that I haven't been writing about but I don't feel like it right now. annnnd my shift is almost over and I get to go home :)


nighty tight peeps. sweet dreams and feels about people who love you :)

MONUMENTAL GIRL STUFF

I know it's been a long time. and I know that there's probably some other shiz that I should blog about.

but guys.

this has to be blogged about ASAP. (also please ignore the late hour. Things happen and I stay up late.)

I've never really been good at Hair Stuff and/or Girl Stuff in general. I didn't start wearing make up until high school, I didn't own my own straightener until my sophomore year of college, and the blanket statement, "Kristin sucks at making herself look presentable" could easily have been made until maybe my junior year of college. I just did not care about stuff like that. I was happy with baggy jeans, my hoodie, and letting my hair do whatever it felt like because it didn't matter to me.

so. fast forward to college when i realized that this was a little bit of a problem. thankfully, i had girl roommates who knew how to do Girl Stuff. I watched them like crazy (ultra-creepy style) and learned how to do the very minimal Girl Stuff. This included, but was not limited to: straightening my hair, how to use bobby pins, mascara, eye liner, eye shadow, not dressing like a dude, and headbands.

This has sustained me until present day so that people recognize that I am in fact a girl and that I can at least give the impression that I care about how I look and know what I'm doing with my face and stuff.

Until tonight. Guys. My life has just changed.

In the wee hours of the night, I tend to waste my time on Youtube. And for whatever reason, I felt like youtubing sock bun hair tutorials. I like the look and was curious about how it was done. (side note: i had no idea that you actually used a sock or donut to do those... blew my mind). So while watching this creeper lady demonstrate how to do a sock bun, I happened to see on the side margin a video called 'Beach Wave Tutorial with a flat iron'*.

A light bulb went on.

I have a flat iron. 
I could do this, dammit!

I watched the tutorial and it was super simple, which is totally my speed because ps- i have no idea how to curl my hair with my straightener (tried watching a tutorial on that... did not compute), and I also have no idea how to use a curling iron, so all signs were pointing to, YES-YOU CAN DO THIS.

The only thing left to do was try it. I went to my bathroom, plugged in my straightener, watched the tutorial again to make sure I knew what to do (honesty time: i was nervous. Hair Stuff makes me nervous), and went to work. and guess what?

I DID IT. SHAZAM.

it was like magic in that baño, like straight-up magic. Initially, it wasn't working like I thought it would and I was a little discouraged. but i though of my girl Sonja (who I am obsessed with) and decided that it was okay to fail at this. but i knew I could do it.

AND BAM. I DID IT.

my hair is now luscious and curly and looks glorious. granted, it is almost 3am so the only person who's going to see this glorious mane is Tilly, but still. I FRIGGIN DID IT. I also only burned myself twice, which is a major accomplishment considering that when I straighten my hair, I usually burn my fingers at least 4-6 times.

this might not seem like a big deal to you all, but this really is friggin huge for me. I've always wished I was better at Girl Stuff and Hair Stuff, but it's never been a strong point for me. This was the first time that I actually tried something and it worked. and it was a really good feeling, one of those, "I CAN DO HARD THINGS" moments.

So. take-home message: always try things you're not good at or things you find difficult because you might surprise yourself. and it's nice :)


* if you decide to watch this video, you've been warned: this girl's voice is kinda (SUPER) annoying. just so you know.

Mind's Eye

Sometimes, I get freaked out by how quickly time passes. I feel like 2012 was just 11 days ago and now it's already 2013.
crazy.
seriously though, last year went by so quickly. I always have those existential moments when a new year starts: did I really live a whole other year? what did I do with my life? did I do everything I wanted to? was I good to people around me? am I a different person this year than I was last year? am I a better person? did I really eat all of the christmas fudge?

i know, you're jealous. this brain is a deep one. but honestly, I wonder about these things (especially that last one) and i think about what I want to do different this year than the last, what I want to be better about, and what I want to keep doing. i'm super pro-new year's resolutions and although i haven't outlined them to a T yet, here's a quick list of what I want to do this year:

(1) lose weight. this kid has gotten fat. this is not me throwing a pity party for myself. this is truth. in that sense, marriage hasn't been good to me. Casey is my #1 partner in crime when it comes to eating yummy things.

(2) exercise. this kinda relates to #1, but it's also a thing I want to do for me. this semester, I'm taking 17 credits and working about 25 hours a week annnnnnd i've got to do about 60 hours of volunteer tutoring/observations for school so life is gonna be a little crazy. i'm hoping that exercise will be my happy time. Cait and I found a free yoga class at school that meets twice a week. you bet your bottom dollar i'll be there.

(3) church stuff (attend the temple, love my calling, and be involved). i loved my last ward, but the calling i had kinda kept me out of the loop of churchyness. we were in that ward over a year and our last sunday, someone approached me and asked if i was new... which was no bueno. SO. I'm going to be more active in my ward and really become a member of my ward family.

(4) love my family and friends. the other night, i was driving home and very suddenly, i had this little breakdown thingy. it wasn't a bad breakdown; it had actually started out as a prayer (sometimes i pray while i drive. i don't know how to drive in snow so good so this happens a lot. you should give it a try sometime.) and turned into a small happy-tears cry fest, in which I thanked my Heavenly Father for all of the wonderful people in my life. after this experience, i realized that i really want my family and friends to know how much i care about them, how much i love them and that i'm someone they can count on. God only blesses you with one family so you might as well love them. you get to choose your friends and they need to know why you love them too.

(5) do stuff. "oh, good one, Kristin. how did you ever come up with that?" Here's what I mean: i want to do fun things with my life this year. As a student, it's easy to forget that life is supposed to be fun because there is SO MUCH STUFF YOU HAVE TO DO ALL THE TIME AND IF YOU DON'T DO IT, THE WORLD IS GOING TO END AND EVERYONE IS GOING TO HATE YOU. don't worry, imma do that stuff, but i also want to enjoy my life and have fun too. i want to explore utah a little more, go fun places, do fun things with friends, and make sure that i don't just get bogged down by all the not so fun stuff. make sense? "yes Kristin- you're a genius!"  oh, you're too kind ;)


and that's that. i feel good. it's gonna be a good year :)


other random thoughts:

- there is way too much snow outside my house. way. too. much.

- we moved recently and there's this magical gas station close to our casa where you can get really cheap drinks AND they have flavours you can add to your drink. i'm currently drinking a cherry-vanilla Dr. Pepper. it's fabulous.

- this one is kinda sad: remember my guinea pig, lloyd? well, the move ended up being hard on lloyd. after the first snow, we noticed our heat wasn't working and it got really cold in our house (50 degrees... it's a lot colder than it sounds) and lloyd got a cold. he got over the cold, but just wasn't the same after and died on Christmas Eve. i had been telling Casey that he was going to die on Christmas because you could just tell that he was miserable. i cried. it was really sad, but i'm okay now. lloyd was a good little pig and i hope he's not our last (this is a debatable topic as Casey was not lloyd's biggest supporter, although, for what it's worth, he said he missed Lloyd's 'feed me' squeaks).

- i've been listening to Eve 6, Unwritten Law, and Wolfmother a lot lately. I feel like these are bands that are highly underrated. i like them. you should too.

- i've seen The Hobbit 3 times. it's amazeballs. if you haven't seen it, GO ASAP. it's just a really beautiful film and the muuuuusssiiiiic. oh my goodness. it's beautiful and lovely and awesome. just listen to 'misty mountains'. you'll see what i'm talking about.

- i also saw Les Miserables and i loved it. i know a lot of people have disliked the movie. to them i say, "shut up, you're stupid. it was amazing". okay, so i would never really say that, but hear me out: i think a lot of people went to the movie expecting it to be like the play. this was silly. i think that's like expecting James Earl Jones and Elijah Wood to read the Bible the same way. silly. the movie should be different than the play because it's a different media with actors who are acting. they're also singing, but they're predominately actors first. Does Hugh Jackman have the range and musical talent of Colm Wilkinson? of course he doesn't. but did he bring the emotion, power and integrity of Jean Valjean? absolutely. Is Russel Crowe the best Javert ever? probably not. Did he express Javert's inner conflict and self-loathing because of the choices he's made in his life? beautifully yes. so yeah. it's a good movie. go see it. cry your heart out and enjoy it :)    embarrassing story: i went and saw this movie with my mama because we've long loved Les Mis and the last 30 minutes of the movie is just super devastating and we were crying a lot in the theater. like ugly crying where you sob uncontrollably, make ugly noises and people stare at you. good times. no regrets.



and now, imma go to bed. nighty tight :)

Soooo it's been a while. a long while. I've been meaning to write for some time, but life has literally been crazy. Some people use that expression too much, things are "literally this" or "literally that", when they're really not. I try not to use it too often, but if this is one of those situations where it is the straight-up TRUTH.

I'm not gonna go in to detail because confidentiality is a real thing, but imma sum it up in one sentence: some people in this world have serious problems and there's only so much you can do to help them before they need to help themselves.

During one of my many breakdowns (total breakdowns in 1 week: 5.), I happened to be in one of my classes talking to a friend (god bless this friend. she is amazing) and another lady in the class, who I respect mucho, turned to me and gave me some seriously sage advice: "You can't fix other people's yards; you can only fix your own".

Analysis: our lives are like our own little front yards with grass, trees, flowers, weeds and gophers. Sometimes our yards are Better Homes and Gardens quality and sometimes, they look Death Valley. Thankfully, because of agency, we can choose how/if/when we want to fix up our yards and we can choose what we want to do in the future so that our yards don't suffer again.

Sometimes, though, we look in our neighbour's yard and realize that their yard is dire need of some love, care and help. The neighbourly thing to do is to go over and see what you can do.
HOWEVER, there comes a point when you are doing too much for your neighbour: you're pruning, weeding, planting new trees, calling the gopher guy to get rid of the gophers, and watering the yard every day so that it will grow and be healthy again. You've gone from helping the person (which is good) to fixing their yard/living their life for them--you're doing too much (which is bad). And you know that once you stop doing these things, the person will just let their yard die again because they aren't willing to make the changes or help themselves.
SO. in summation, we really can only fix our own yards: our families, our financial situations, our jobs, our relationships, our school efforts, our health, whatever. But we can't fix other people's yards. That's something they've got to do for themselves if it's going to be a permanent change.
the end.


alright. i'm done being preachy. just thought i'd share :)


other than all that crazy stuff, my life has been pretty amazing. school is great, it's finally winding down and then i'm freeeeeeeeeee! this will be grand and I will be celebrating accordingly by seeing "The Hobbit" tomorrow (I'M SOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!)

I also just realized that I never wrote about the Mika concert, partly because I've been busy, but also because I still can't believe it happened and I actually went. I started a post about it so hopefully, I'll finish that some time soon and y'all can read about my surreal experience. Until then, you should prepare for the magic by listening to Mika's new cd, The Origin of Love. I've had it on repeat since the concert and as cheesy as this sounds, it's really helped me through these past few weeks. like i've had select songs on repeat and blasting them in my car. it's been real. you should listen :)

and now imma study. I wrote an 8-page paper last night in 3 hours (almost a personal best). today is my last final. and imma celebrate :)

Celebrate :)

I would be a bad person if I did not write about the events that transpired on this magical evening of October 18th, 2012. This is serious business.

Let's begin our story in the 90s. There is a restaurant here in Provo called The Brick Oven and it has been the place for all of Casey's birthdays since he was around 8 years old. DEDICATION.

Since Junior High, Casey has taken the habit of writing on the comment cards they leave at the tables that he wants what is fondly known as The Brick Oven Pig, leaving 3-7 comment cards per month.  (History of the Pig as far as this writer knows: The Brick Oven Pig was put on the walls in Brick Oven some time in the late 90s and has been a beloved relic of eaters alike since). The comment cards tapered off in college, but every so often, 2 would pop up. In high school, Casey even took his request so far as to ask the General Manager and a meeting was held to discuss the matter. TRUTH.

Skip ahead to when we got married: in an attempt to ease the pain of not having the Brick Oven Pig, I bought Casey a similar pig named Pierre from Williams & Sonoma as a wedding gift and it was love at first sight... but even though he loved/loves Pierre a lot, it just wasn't quite the same.


And now, we get to tonight. Casey's birthday is this Saturday and we had a get together with some of our dear friends to celebrate early. They put us in the Party Room (... we get kinda loud...) and we were laughing and having a jolly old time when Paul the Manager walks in and starts talking to us. He recognized Casey and me because we go to Brick Oven WAY. TOO. MUCH. and started talking to us. Then, the following took place:

Paul: Wait a minute, you're the guy who's wants the pig, right?
Casey: yeah.
Paul: Well, guess what? It's finally for sale and we've been waiting around for the guy who leaves the comment cards about the pig to come in. Do you still want it?
Casey: FEWHAIAFNKJGROEWRQHUFDGASDFNFDGSUHIREFGUHEWO^&*$%!#^&#@!



Casey might have been a little more articulate than that, but I'm sure that's how he felt inside. Anyways, after a few texts to the GM and a small fee, we became the proud owners of The Brick Oven Pig!!!!
It was one of the most surreal and crazy experiences and possibly the best birthday Casey will ever have. After we bought the pig, Paul gave us a personal tour of the Brick Oven kitchen and the basement where they make all the root beer, pizzas, dressings and so forth.

Paul, the greatest man alive

look at that happy face :)

The happy family

It was a truly magical evening, one that will be passed down for generations to come :)

The Dance

For starters, there is a GIANT spider on the wall by my door. it's been there about 20 minutes and i've been debating on what to do. I hate hate HATE Peter Pan... and spiders. and I also hate killing spiders for fear that they will somehow apparate through the shoe and bite my arm off (TRUE STORY.)

Second, hello all you lovely people! I hope you're all doing swell and that your lives are simply grand :)

Lately, I've been thinking about things, like I do, and now imma write about them, like I do.


Last night, I had a lovely girls night out with some dear friends. One of the nice things about being married is that Casey's girl friends have taken me in as one of their own and have become some of my most favourite people. I love them all so much and I'm really glad I have them. ANNNYWAYS, so I'm at said girls night and one of the girls in the group happens to write for KSL (for you non-Utah folk, KSL is a news website and tv channel) and she wrote an article about couples who share a facebook, interviewing a few couples to talk to them about why they share and all that jazz.

So we're all talking about this and I've decided this is how I feel about it: I don't like it. If you don't trust your spouse to have their own facebook account, there's trouble a-brewing. that's all imma say about that.


Next. Politics. if you know me (and if you don't, you're about to learn something new), you know I'm not a huge fan of politics or discussing them. Therefore, election years have always been my least favourite years because e'rrbody feels this burning desire to be heard and to talk about politics. Now. Let it be known that I don't frown upon educated and civil discussion; i think it's wonderful when people who are well-read and open-minded discuss/post on facebook interesting articles, viewpoints, etc. because it helps me, as someone who doesn't usually seek out that kind of reading material, to see what's going on.
HOWEVER. I do give serious angry eyes/vibes to people who don't know what they're talking about, but post to give the image that they do, or who are just posting things to ruffle feathers. this bugs the hell out of me. i see what you're doing there. no one appreciates it. i will be  deleting you hiding your posts. THERE. i said it.


the spider is still on the wall...


HAPPY NEWS!!!!! so many of you might know that I am a HUGE FAN of Mika. He hardly ever comes to the States and I recently heard that he was coming. So i checked the dates and there was a show in LA and I got sooooooo excited, but then, tragedy struck: the show was on a Sunday. BLAST.

So a few days go by and I was on facebook and happened to see that a second show was added to LA... THE FOLLOWING MONDAY. I immediately called my mom screaming and GUESS WHAT? THIS KID IS GOING TO MIKA ON OCTOBER 22. 
Words cannot describe how happy I am. It's so many dreams coming true and I will be talking about this non-stop until it happens (and probably afterwards). SOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!


hmmmmm what else? Oh! I had a birthday (shout hurray!). it was pretty magical. Casey loaded me up with junk food and Dr. Pepper so I really couldn't ask for more :)


Lloyd is still awesome. he takes naps on the couch with me these days. it's nice :)


Nature things!! Today, I went with my most lovely Caitlin (awkwardly enough, she's Casey's ex-girlfriend... and we've become the best of friends. I don't know how to live without this girl) to the Gardens at Thanksgiving Point and it was soooo lovely! It reminded me a ton of the gardens throughout Europe (Jardines Botanicos in Espana and the Borromean Islands come to mind) and it was just super beautiful and lovely and amazing. I smelled so many flowers and it was all around glorious :)

We also went to Farm Country. Here's a confession: I realllllllllllllly want a pet cow. like bad. and at Farm Country, there were 2 baby calves (SO SOFT) and a big ol' dairy cow that followed us around and loved scratchies and lovies and I just wanted to take her come with me (cow + corolla?). Some day, I will live in a place where I can have a cow. judge all you want, but when I'm drinking fresh milk and you're not, then you'll be sorry...


also. in the process of this post, i revamped my blog. i had no idea blogger had so many nifty things that i could do. expect more changes in the future.


and that's all I can think of right now. OH. JUST KIDDING- I thought of something. I'm taking a lovely, short vacation down to Vegas for fall break (fall break=magic. in Utah, they have fall break usually mid-Octoberish. WHY WAS THIS NOT A PART OF MY CHILDHOOD?). I'm quite excited!! We're going for Caitlin's birthday and it's just gonna be the bee's knees :)


and now that's all I can think of. and I'm sleepy. and the spider is still on the wall...



nighty night to you all :)