Chin Up, Long. It'll Be Alright :)

I learned an important lesson this week and one of my best friends, who I love dearly and can’t thank enough, summed it up perfectly: “Sometimes you have to hurt people in order to give them what is ultimately the best thing”.

Sometimes it’s hard to see and to know that you did the right thing when it hurts someone you love so dearly so much. I still feel the sadness and pain, but ultimately, you just have to trust that you made the right decision. I wanted to be selfish and avoid this hurt with all my heart, but it’s not about me- it’s about someone else and what was best. I know they can’t see it now but that day will come; I promise.

Golden Moments

it's funny, I usually copy/paste my blogs because I tend to not capitalize my i's and because I'm lazy, I just let spell check do it for me. Tonight as I went to copy/paste something, I guess I forgot to actually copy it so I just pasted what ever the last thing I had copied was. This is what I pasted:

"Never let an earthly circumstance disable you spiritually."

This came from a talk by Elder Donald L. Hallstrom from the past General Conference in April 2010 that I read yesterday and it was one of those moments where it was exactly what I needed to read. Even though it focused on not being offended by those who do you wrong, I realized it's applicable to life in general. I'm sure you guys have noticed that I sometimes freak out about life; I'm easily one who gets caught up in the now and I get flustered when things don't go how I feel they should or expect them to. Basically, I let the little earthly things get in the way of my spiritual happiness and that's something I want to be better at. I think a huge part of life is learning to endure and overcome, not in the negative sense where you just have to get through it, but also in a more positive sense that you grow, learn and become better because of it.

So, moral of the story: I want to be spiritually stronger so when life's challenges come my way, I can turn to the Lord and be able to endure all things. deal : )


ps- this is a link to the talk, in case you're interested: http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1207-25,00.html

Cheer Up

I'm laying in my bed; I'm not in a good mood. I'm angry, upset, hurt, worried, sad, and not myself. Time to fix things.

What I'm grateful for:

- homemade cookies
- tomorrow is Sunday
- the repeat function on iTunes (still listening to 'Telephone'...)
- my family
- hymns
- surprise phone calls
- milk, both regular and chocolatey
- good news
- pizza
- people who love me
- Q-tips
- prayer and knowledge that the Lord hears me
- my bed, blankets and stuffed dog Fly
- peanut butter
- time
- the scriptures and moments where I appreciate the war chapters in Alma
- music that sounds how I feel
- my dogs, Slick and Sadie
- writing
- my hope chest at the foot of my bed
- the posters I just put up on my wall in my room
- art
- water
- Larkrise to Candleford (I want season 3!!!)
- my neighbours
- tomorrow is a new day :)

and now to bed. goodnight :)

aannnnnnnnnnnnddd back to square one. no good.

Give and Let Live, Love and Be Loved

I realized this past week how loved I am. I know that's kind of a conceited comment; let me explain. There's something beautifully happy when you walk in to a room and faces light up to see you, when you give some one a hug that you haven't seen in a while and you can feel how excited and happy they are because you're there. This may come as a shock to some of you but I've never been one to have a lot of confidence. For whatever reason, I doubt myself constantly and I think like most people, I'm my harshest critic. This past week, I felt how much people love me and it made me incredibly grateful for the amazing people that are in my life and how much more gratitude I need to express in my life. I guess you could say this is my personal declaration to be better at letting people know how much I love them and appreciate them. I know I get frustrated with people sometimes, but that's something I need to change because those people are just as deserving of love as I am, if not more so. So here's to love and loving and life. break.







and as a random note, I'm completely obsessed with 'Telephone' by Lady Gaga feat. Beyonce. Judge all you want but it's amazing.

No Subject (Come With Me)

You've all been here before. push play when ready.

step one: http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/search/songs/?query=cartel%20get%20away

step two:

Stop and turn,
Look away right now
You never will find a safer thing,
if you turn around

[Pre-Chorus]
If anybody wants to see you now,
they'll have to get through me
Cause everybody burns for something special,
somehow they might see and Oh.

[Chorus]
Get, Get, Get away from me.
You don't know what I'm capable of.
Just you wait and see.
And Baby, Baby, Baby, I'm ashamed.
Well I can do some terrible things
So now's your time to leave.

Twist and turn.
Please don't let me in it's not a lie.
We think that it's understood
If you should leave me now.

[Pre-Chorus]
If anybody wants to see you now,
they'll have to get through me
Cause everybody burns for something special,
somehow they might see and Oh.

[Chorus]
Get, Get, Get away from me.
You don't know what I'm capable of.
Just you wait and see.
And Baby, Baby, Baby, I'm ashamed.
Well I can do some terrible things

So now's your time to leave.
[repeat]

step three: sometime I feel like this song. Sometimes I feel like my mind is my worst enemy, accompanied by my heart, which feels whatever my mind (or others) puts in to it; it is my greatest strength and most vulnerable weakness. I over think everything, I worry about things that are out of my control, and I put thoughts in to my head that should definitely not remain there. And tonight, the result is this song. I'm scared I'm going to mess things up, that I'm not going to know, and that time somehow isn't on my side.

but.

step four: http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/search/songs/?query=mika%20love%20today

step five:

Doom da da di da di Doom da da di da di
Everybody's gonna love today,
Gonna love today, gonna love today.
Everybody's gonna love today, gonna love today.
Anyway you want to, anyway you've got to,
Love love me, love love me, love love.

I've been crying for so long,
Fighting tears just to carry on,
But now, but now, it's gone away.
Hey girl why can't you carry on,
Is it 'cause you're just like your mother,
A little tight, like to tease for fun,
Well you ain't gonna tease no other,
Gonna make you a lover.

Everybody's gonna love today,
love today, love today.
Everybody's gonna love today,
Anyway you want to, anyway you've got to,
Love love me, love love me, love love.
Girl in the blue with the big bust on,
Big bust on, big bust on.
Wait till your mother and your papa's gone,
Papa's gone
Momma, momma papa, shock shock me,
Shock shock me, shock shock.
Everybody's gonna love today,
Gonna love today, gonna love today
I said,
Everybody's gonna love today, gonna love today,
Anyway you want to, anyway you've got to,
Love love me, love love me, love love.

Carolina sits on ninety five
Give her a dollar and she'll make you smile.
Hook her, book her, nook her, walk away!
Girl dresses like a kid for fun,
Licks her lips like they're something other,
Tries to tell you life has just begun,
But you know she's getting something other
Than the love from her mother

Everybody's gonna love today,
Love today, love today
Everybody's gonna love today,
Anyway you want to, anyway you've got to,
Love love me, love love me, love love.
Girl in the blue with the big bust on,
Big bust on, big bust on.
Wait till your mother and your papa's gone,
Papa's gone
Momma, momma papa, shock shock me,
Shock shock me, shock shock.
[repeat]

Doom da da di da di Doom da da di da di Doom da da di da di Doom da da di da di.....

step six: this is the most played song on my ipod. I listen to it every day multiple times a day because without fail, it always makes me happy. and it reminds me of what is most important in my life. Yes, the subject matter is a little sketch (nobody go down the 95 for a while...), but the overall message is what I love most: love today. There is but one today. We have this life to love, not to spend freaking ourselves out for things that we can't control, things that we create or things that in the end, are small details to the grand stage that is life. And this life is full of love, in so many forms and in endless amount. And love brings more happiness and peace than I can describe. and I'm grateful :)

step seven: get some sleep :)

Here It Goes

I have decided to read the Twilight series. For those of you who know me, this is monumental. and I expect one of you to call the news papers asap. seriously. But in all honesty, I've wanted to read them for a while now, not because I'm dying to know how things end up with Bella and Edward or because I've been so impressed with the movies that I have to read the books, but because I want to be able to judge for myself. I'm going in with an open mind (well, as open as possible). and we'll see what happens.


Chapter One: First Sight...





ps- I'm back in America. and it's nice to be home :)
and because I know you're all losing sleep over this, I'm in the process of writing about my adventures and such, no worries, I'll post something before the summer is out.